I don’t know about you, but this Corona virus quarantine is getting to me. I am feeling exhausted mentally and emotionally from this new reality I find myself in. Facing that I may never be able to get close to people again, go in public without a mask, or be able to refuse a vaccine is stressful.
I’m disgusted with ALL of our leaders, the mainstream media fear mongering, and the censorship of facts and information to encourage fear. I want to know the truth. I want to remain in control of what goes into my body. How can I do that when I am over being told what to think and do? To me it seems as if there is a battle for total control by the government.
When I contemplate all of what is happening in our world along with doing research into the CDC, Bill Gates owning patents on Covid 19, John’s Hopkins University, Anthony Fauci and his involvement with the virus at UNC, something stinks. What is really going on? Are our freedoms at risk? Is our right to be well in jeopardy?
Why are we really being asked to stay inside and away from an outer life?
Is there a Divine message in the appearance of corruption, lies and Covid 19?
Can we come out of this with more emotional resilience, peace and Self -awareness?
Is there another side to Covid 19?
As a healing practitioner, I feel it is my duty to share what I know on a holistic level that has an impact on your total well-being. This includes looking at how situations like the Covid -19 epidemic are impacting health beyond the actual viral infection. Widespread fear mongering compounded with the financial stresses many are facing have a real impact on mental, emotional and spiritual attitudes. The potential loss of personal rights to object to mandatory vaccines creates distrust. The other side of Covid 19 is fear.
Fear leads to stress. Stress weakens our immune systems. Stress leads to more fear. It is an endless cycle, unless you reach for methods that eradicate fear, such as meditation, chanting, exercise, clean food choices. Love and truth also eradicate fear. What does love look like in the experience of Covid 19?
I’d like to be honest and share my experiences of how Covid -19 has impacted my spiritual, mental and emotional states and what I did to stay whole.
As a Yogi, I have been on a journey to increase Self-awareness and inner peace for several years now. The world is full of challenges and at times it is not easy to maintain presence in adversity. I have made it through challenges by Grace. Yet, when Covid 19 appeared I found myself easily rattled, as if I had no spiritual practice at all! This dramatic change to my cushy life sent me into a tailspin. Things I never considered or appreciated, like toilet paper, were now gaining my full attention, pointing to inner work that needed fixed. My lack of spiritual attainment, Self -awareness and gratitude was being reflected back to me in something as simple as toilet paper. I was being shown how much fear still ruled my life.
God was calling me to take a stand over this fear that expressed in so many ways. I had no choice but to sit with this range of emotions not so subtly surfacing now such as anger, helplessness, and outrage. I was agitated, restless, anxious. Rarely did I experience happiness or content. And why not? Happiness is not connected to any person, place or thing. It is a spiritual state of being, that I have had the privilege to truly experience due to Grace.
Fear showed up as thoughts of doom and gloom to occupy my mind, distracting me from my spiritual practice and self – awareness. Stress was becoming more normal than peace. In this mindset of lack, I engaged in hoarding behaviors, stocking up on cans of beans preparing for an impending apocalypse. I found myself caught up in the frenzy to find toilet paper.
As a result of thinking and feeling this way, I became ill. I contracted what public health officials call Covid 19.
In this, Covid 19 became a blessing.
As I worked on healing my physical body, staying inside has taken on multiple meanings.
My spiritual mentor Kedarji has reminded me many times over the years to contemplate what really matters in my life. In this, he is referring to making my spiritual life a top priority, because when I am strong spiritually, in a state of peace and content, I have total well- being. Stress and fear cannot exist in a state of peace.
As I contemplated what really matters in my life, I began to experience anger.
Staying inside, in quarantine felt violating. What surfaced is that I really don’ t like being told what to do! I wanted to rebel. And so I did. But instead of rebelling against the corruption of government, and violation of human rights, my ego instead turned this rebellion against my spiritual practice, the one thing that would eradicate its presence from my life.
I rebelled against my spiritual practice and the Grace available to me to weather this storm and experience joy in “staying inside”.
This feeling was not something new to me. I know this restlessness and resistance well. It’s an old karmic habit of mine that surfaces when I am facing a growth opportunity. Instead of deepening my practice to glean the lesson from this habit’s presence in my life, and be done with it, I would rather suffer. It sounds strange. Why would I reach for pain and suffering intentionally? But I do more often than I am aware of at times. I have been so conditioned to love this place of pain, lack, unworthiness, etc. that it clouds my discernment, blocking Grace from showing me peace and freedom in all situations.
I allowed this rebellion to lead to a breakdown in my spiritual practice. I became lazy with my time set aside for meditation and chanting because I had no set schedule for the day. I’m quarantined! I stopped starting my day with gratitude. What was there to be grateful for? I’m stuck in the house. This set me up for succumbing to the mindset of fear and lack.
From this lack of The Spiritual Power, my physical health declined. I contracted what they are calling Covid 19. I experienced flu like symptoms that lasted about 3 days at its worst. I experienced a low-grade fever, tired, achy, lethargy, no appetite, and I could feel a heaviness in my chest. At no point did I ever need medical intervention. This sickness was no worse than my experience of a cold or flu in the past.
I immediately began to add more herbs to bolster my immune system, such as Red Root, Chinese Skullcap, garlic and Echinacea angustifolia. I added Vitamin C and D, zinc and selenium.
But those things alone didn’t fully kick the illness because I was still restless, still rebelling against the one thing that I had proof of improving all physical conditions, Spiritual Power.
It wasn’t until I made the choice to go inside and reach for Grace and my practice that I experienced an immediate improvement.
What helped me bouncy back was restoring my spiritual practice.
During yet another night of restlessness, I was wide awake at 2:30 am feeling anxious. Knowing that sleep is critical for my body to repair itself made my anxiety even worse.
I had been avoiding doing the spiritual practice I was taught to alleviate my fear and illness. I decided to go inside and contemplate where this was coming from and why.
Subtly there was a resistance to embracing it because I didn’t want more proof that a connection to The Spiritual Power was the foundation for all healing. Embracing sickness subtly meant that I was not taking responsibility for my life on all levels.
And so, I surrendered into Grace, allowing my stubbornness and resistance to fade as I reached for what I knew to do, breathwork, meditation and Japa. I spent the next two hours in bed performing Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) inwardly repeating my mantra and offering my restless rebellion to God. I drifted back to sleep. In the morning I awoke to feeling refreshed and I had zero symptoms of any illness from the day before.
Going inside was a reminder to me that the 4 Pillars of total-well-being, offered to me by my mentor, Kedarji, are vital, especially attention to The Spiritual Power. Without this inner connection to Grace and the healing power of the Highest power, I quickly succumbed to the real pandemic -fear. Not to discount the seriousness of Covid 19, but in my experience of it and healing though this time, fear was the underlying root of my restlessness and rebellion, and it led to illness.
The message I received was about keeping my inner connection to The Highest Power strong. Staying inside to experience Truth, healing and Grace.
If you are feeling fear, anxiousness, or even illness of your physical body, I invite you to go inside. If you are new to this inner experience, visit my resource page and practice the breath work exercises.